Blackened Sky --

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Rufus
Average Cabbage

I tried to be perfect, it just wasn't worth it...

Posts: 72

Blackened Sky -- Apr 17, 2011 16:53:15 GMT

Quote

Post by Rufus on Apr 17, 2011 16:53:15 GMT

camphalfblood.forummotion.com/t3677-blackened-sky

okay, yes, it was only last updated in January, and it's on a Percy Jackson site (which is awesome, by the way.) but this is a story that I'm thinking of working on again. So, I want your honest opinions, and thoughts about is I should continue or not.

-- Zombie

Proud to be ::
- English
- German
- Greek
- Scottish
- Welsh
- Irish
- Punk
- From the place I am
- Against the authority and moral majority
- Rufus
- The only female Joseph in this family
- like Momus, but more emo, and better.
- the proud writer of this list.

[/i]

Samantha
Administrator

[M:-600]^#Summer_Showcase_2011#Creators_Showcase_2013

Posts: 1,016

Blackened Sky -- Apr 17, 2011 19:40:31 GMT

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Post by Samantha on Apr 17, 2011 19:40:31 GMT

I like it. I'm glad to see a story written from a male's point of view, and I think it's so interesting that he's in love with a girl three years younger than him. I would read more if you continued.

I'd be easier to read, though, if you began a new line for every speaker.

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