[Blog] Writers Block: Nonsensical Stories

[legrande]

Hey everyone! So basically, as the title suggests, I reckon I've got a bit of a block going, which is really bad news, when I have a RP I want to reply too. But; I digress.

I heard that you're meant to sort of, jot down something when you have writers blog. I'm writing some 'stories;, and well, thought I'd share. It's pretty nonsensical, and definately not up to scratch!

Also; if anyone else has anti-block methods that they use and want to tell me, feel free.

Arnolf The Magical Pixie

Once upon a time in Magical Pixie Land, there lived a magical pixie called Arnolf. His name was Arnolf, because the 'd' and the 'f' are very close together on a keyboard and it's easy to hit the wrong one when you're tired. So, anyway. Arnolf was a very happy pixie, with one huge problem. Whenever he spoke, his monotone voice was so low and boring that people generally fell asleep. This was most terribly disheartening for poor Arnolf, who was the laughing stock of the other chirpy pixies. They called him the most horrid names like Mr Boring-voice, and Boring-Snoring. Then, generally when he opened his mouth to protest, they all fell asleep. It was a vicious, vicious circle...

One day Arnolf decided to end his writer's block problems once and for all. He would visit the sea-witch, Ursula, and she would give him a beautiful singing voice. Then, he would perform covers of popular songs and become famous! Then all the pixies that had ever laughed at him would be sorry! He'd show them! So, Arnolf hastily bundled all of his worldly possessions into a red spotty handkerchief and slid it onto a stick. A group of jeering pixies gathered around as he turned to leave. They ridiculed his bindle. "Red is so last year! Try blue, Snoring-Boring!"
He simply sniffed haughtily and turned his back on them. He'd show them. He'd be like, the most famous pixie ever! Then they'd be jealous. Yeah. Arnolf giggled, sounding similar to a rusty chainsaw. He always came up with the most glorious of revenges!

He whistled as he walked cheerfully along the country lane that lead straight out of Magical Pixie Land, and towards the nearby woods. He pulled a usefully placed iPod from his back pocket, and put his headphones into his large ears. He was so busy rocking out to AC/DC and 'The Crazy Frog' that he didn't realise he'd walked into the dark, scary woods.
He was in the middle of singing 'Thunderstruck' when all of a sudden he heard a twig crack under his heavy tread.
"Oh, I say!" he exclaimed, "What frightfully scary, dark woods these are!"
He looked around fearfully, berating himself for being an idiot. I mean, who walks straight into the woods because they're too busy singing 'Thunderstruck'? Even if it was in an extremely low and boring monotone! Geesh.
Since he was hopelessly lost, Arnolf decided that it was in his best interests to have something to eat. He produced a rather large packet of sardine sandwiches from his bindle, and set them down on the ground.
"Golly! How dreadful! He exclaimed as he realised that he had forgotten his ginger beer, and that a large flying snowman had just flown through the sky above him. The snowman was drinking a fizzy orange beverage from a can marked 'Irn-Bru'.

However, little did Arnolf realise that flying snowman and missing ginger beer were soon to be the least of his troubles.

[legrande]

The Bald Frog

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful frog. His long, luscious blond hair fell in ringlets around his 'shoulders', and he had perfected a swish that made the lady frogs go weak at the knees. He was quite the womaniser! One day, however, a jilted lover of his, Toadella, was upset by his ways. She plotted a way to stop him breaking poor froglet's hearts. So, she sprinkled some itching powder onto his pillow. That night, the bald frog went to bed; and began to scratch his head in his sleep. Eventually, he accidentally scratched his hair out! When he woke up the next morning, he found that his beautiful locks lay scattered over his bed! He was now completely bald! He stayed at home for days, wishing it to come back, but alas his scalp remained completely bare. Now, when he went out on the town, he was no longer found attractive! His froggy heart broke. In desperation, he went to a barber, and had them make him a wig. However, the new wig was a very conservative, centre parted wig, and instead of being attractive, he looked geeky. One day, Toadella saw him crying into a large cup of tea in a cafe. She took pity on him, and went in to comfort him. Not realising that it was her who had hurt him, he told her sorrows, and she realised that she had only done what she had because she was still very much in love with him. She admitted this, and the frog was so overjoyed, that he proposed to her then and there. They married within a month.
Then, they lived happily ever after.

[Samantha]

Ugh, writer's block is the worst. I usually just wait mine out, but sometimes I get inspired to write after watching or reading something that's dramatic or sad. Even though I'm not an avid television-watcher, I find that viewing basically any show with a pathetic appeal puts me in a writing mood.

That first story about Arnolf, by the way, made me laugh.

Best of luck to you in overcoming your writer's block.